One of my favorite things that Paw and I would do together was ride in his white Chevy pickup.
The long rides down to Uncle JJ’s farm, the short rides home from middle school football practice, and every time that we rode down East Bear Springs Road together. He seemed to love to give up his time to drive me around, long before I could drive myself. That was my Paw, and that’s where I spent the best time with him – riding in his pickup truck.
My favorite memory with Paw was doing just that. We were driving down East Bear Springs, and we were crossing the creek where the road dipped down. I don’t remember where we were going, or why. I just remember that we were together, me and Paw. “Coca-Cola Cowboy” by Mel Tillis was the song on the radio. I don’t exactly remember if he or I started singing first, probably me, but by the time that the road dipped down, we were both singing that song, together, me and Paw.
I’ll always cherish that moment we had, singing along to a song. A song that definitely wasn’t about us, but a song that, together, we made our own.
Two nights ago, I dreamt that bombs fell on my home. I was with my family when orange light split the sky and rockets came down. In that moment, I made peace that I would die. Maybe I did so because I thought I couldn't cease to be. I woke from that dream to the incessant vibration of my phone. A friend was calling me, who I ignored last time he did. I let it ring. When I didn't answer, he texted me. Our old friend had died less than an hour before. Isn't it odd how dreams border reality? I often see little difference between life’s two dimensions of the body and the spirit. For a time, I understood them as the same. For my fore-bearers, there was only the body. One moment you’re here, the next you’re gone to the grave. I think that’s why we bury bodies instead of spreading ash. It may be a sign of resurrective hope, but I think a part of us doesn’t want to let them go. When I visited my uncle’s grave a couple times ago, I felt a sense of loss. I was home and thought it tim...